People always tell me that I am a good mom. While nice to hear, it didn’t really matter much if I didn’t believe it. I mean, I thought I had good mom days or good mom moments, but just being a good mom, in general, is something I have strived to be for some time now. Almost 5 years and 3 kids later, I finally feel like I am a good mom.
Yes, more often than not, they would get what they wanted when they asked for it, but that didn’t make me a good mom. You can’t buy love. I was short on patience, and yelling at my kids far more often than I wanted to. And this led to me doing some serious soul searching.
As you may or may not know, I recently started doing a podcast with my “sister-in-love” (sister-in-law) where we discuss an array of topics openly and honestly. While we have enjoyed the feedback, I have realized that it has also had a positive impact on me as well. Being able to finally talk openly and honestly with someone who can relate about being a woman, a mom, and a wife… is very therapeutic.
What I have realized is that making time once a week to focus on me, put me first, and do something that I wanted to do, was the necessary element that was missing in my life before. By taking time away from my responsibilities, even if only for 1 – 2 hours a week, I’ve started to appreciate my time with my family even more. Life is busy, and running around trying to keep all of the balls in the air can be exhausting, but attitude is everthing, and I had to change my attitude. The truth is, nothing changed, but me. I can’t control how busy I am, and the amount of work I have to do, be it at home or at work, will not lessen any time soon. These things are just out of my control. But, I can change the way they impact my life and attitude. Waking up early every morning to get my daughter ready for school, get the kids fed, get out the door, drop her off, rush to work, work work work, then rush home to make it to Tae Kwon Do class, eat diner, bathe the kids, put them to bed, then clean the house and do laundry…Phew! I’m exhausted just talking about it. And I realized that constantly being on the go was making me tired and cranky. Then things changed.
Making time to talk openly and honestly discuss our experiences as moms, wives, and women have made a world of difference. I’m not alone in this chaos. THIS IS LIFE! Whatsmore, THIS IS A BLESSED LIFE! And I went from complaining about all the balls I am keeping in the air, to counting my blessings. I am blessed to be able to do all of these things because so many people cannot say the same. Prior to the podcast, I wasn’t spending enough time focusing on just how blessed I am until I started talking about it and saying it out loud.
I am BLESSED to wake up to a beautiful family every morning. I am BLESSED to watch my baby girl fumble around the house every morning as we rush to get dressed. I am BLESSED that my family can eat breakfast together every morning. I am BLESSED to be able to drive my oldest to school every morning and have that quality one on one time with her. I am BLESSED to have a job to go to that is also very flexible so that I can still actively participate in family life. I am BLESSED to be able to make it on time to my daughters Tae Kwon Do classes so that I can show her that she matters and that I am proud of her. I am BLESSED to be able to eat dinner with my family every night and hear about how their day went. I am BLESSED to help my daughter with her homework. I am BLESSED to be able to bathe my kids and experience the joy on their faces and be privy to their imaginations as they play in the tub. I am BLESSED to be able to lay next to them every night as they cuddle up and fall asleep because that is my greatest reminder of why working so hard is so worth it. I am BLESSED to have a home to clean and LOTS of laundry to put away because we have a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs. Yes, I am indeed BLESSED, and sometimes it helps to say so out loud.
My home was always blessed with joy and laughter, but now, there is even more, or, maybe I’m just making it a point to truly enjoy every moment more. Here’s a surprising added perk, since I’ve stopped yelling at my kids due to being tired and frustrated, they’ve actually started listening more. I’m learning something new every day.
Take some time to count your blessing aloud every now and then.
The P.I. Mom who finally feels like a good mom. 🙂